Exit Stage Left

And away we go …

Uh, not so fast Snagglepuss.

I got to the hospital pretty early expecting good news based on Renee’s recent improvements. I was not disappointed. I was hardly in the door when Renee said, “I’m going home.”

But what is this, the IV was hooked back up? Renee’s potassium level dropped during the night so they had to crank her back up. Not to worry its coming back off. The nurse brought in some oral pain meds and said she’d go start the paperwork for discharge. A few minutes later without warning nausea grew and though she did not purge, Renee let out a vurp for the ages. (Vurp – for the uninitiated, is a vomit tinged burp. No I didn’t make that one up, but I wish I had.) This really shook up our patient, literally, figuratively and emotionally. She said, “I can’t do this.” A pretty soggy breakdown ensued.

The nurse observed a good portion of this as well as the physician’s assistant. We all took our turns and talked her through it. As Renee admitted, she’s scared. I could tell this yesterday and knew this was coming. This is operation number four, its straight out of the Renee playbook. She is entitled to her breakdown and as I told her, “let it out.”

Renee was still trying to compose herself when her roommate, Dawn, offered to her why she was nauseous. They had given her the pain meds on an empty stomach and they should be taken with food. Dawn is a young pro at this, a Colitis sufferer since the age of eight, she knows the territory. She’s also a nurse when she’s not a patient. Her Mom then came over and had a nice chat with Renee. Their intervention helped to settle Renee down and resign herself to getting out of the hospital. Thank you.

Renee hit the shower. I was joking around telling her I wasn’t going to let her in the car smelling like that. She took me at my word. I already have a no puking in the car rule which in Renee’s case makes for some mighty adventurous pullovers. In all honesty, she hadn’t showered in two weeks and was exhibiting a pungency reminiscent of the NY/NJ Port Authority’s men’s room on a rainy day.

During Renee’s scrub down the nurse came in and said now she’s not sure if they are going to release her and if they were so inclined it would be late in the afternoon. I gave her a ‘we’ll see’ look. Renee’s baring of her anxiety had scared the staff more than I or Renee. They didn’t want to release an emotional wreck from the hospital. This is understandable but Renee cleared it up when she emerged from the shower fresh and feisty. She told the nurse “I’m ready to go now and if you’re not letting me go home then you better admit me to the psychiatric ward.”

The nurse returned a couple minutes later with the good news. We went through all the usual checkout procedures and had a last minute visit from the Stoma Nurse with some clarifications and pointers. At 12:30PM, we were on our way south on I-71.

I-71 begins in downtown Louisville and ends in Downtown Cleveland. You don’t need mapquest to figure out the return trip. We hit numerous snow squalls throughout, heavy traffic though Columbus and rush hour standstills through Cincinnati. Renee needed to stretch a few times but was mostly dozing from the combination of Oxycodone for pain and Phenegren for nausea.

We pulled in to the driveway at about 7:20PM to balloons and hugs from Renee’s Mom and Cassidy but I think Polly was more excited to see Renee than either of them. It’s good to be home.