Knit One, Pearl Woohoowhoo!

I have been waiting for a week for Renee to do something worthy of reporting here. She’s just not helping. She continues to recover slowly from the usual pains and soreness following surgery but beyond that, nothing. No unscheduled trips to the doctor, no bad news from test results, its almost like she's trying to get better. Where's the intrigue in that?

Renee has taken up knitting. She’s clicking away in front of the Food Network wishing she could eat what they’re preparing. She’s also getting hooked on Man vs. Food on the Travel Channel, knitting and pearling to the gluttony. I’m not sure if I should request Renee’s nutritionist ban these shows from her diet or just let her munch vicariously on the digital feed. I was thinking about upgrading to HiDef but the increase in pixels may upset Renee’s digestive tract. We don’t want her to over do it.

Renee’s first endeavor with the needles and yarn is a square washcloth. Our neighborhood stitchmaster, who’s teaching her, sells them for $4.00 a pop. Renee must have missed a stitch or two because it is now a triangle. She hasn’t succeeded in making what she planned so the teacher says it won’t sell.

I think she’s wrong. You see, what Renee has succeeded in knitting is a women’s thong. Yes, that’s the first thing that comes to mind whenever she shows it to anyone. And women love to buy underwear, I think more than shoes. Plus, the temperature dropped below zero this morning … so ladies, wool undies is the way to go. Victoria’s Secret has their Spring line out, (I know, I’ve commandeered control of the current catalog. It’s for market research purposes only.) so, you can only get these at the Brownsboro Farm Boutique. Don’t wait, we’ve got winter clearance pricing, for a short time only.