Bob Time

After reading my most recent post, Renee asked me why I don’t write about myself on this here blog. “How come there’s nothing about you?” Good question! I do remark about some of the chores related to taking care of my three medical mysteries with whom I share a home, but purposefully shy away from blatant self-propaganda. It’s just not right for the reporter to insert himself into the story. It’s not about me. OK, just this one time.

I made the paper the other day. It was the online version, but still it was news – sort of. A picture is worth a thousand words and these days it needs to be because newspapers don’t include stories to go with photos anymore. Below’s my mug taken at a local Hootenanny. A hootenanny is a huge sing-along and jam session. And yes, it’s a hoot! And so is the picture. It only took close to a half-century for my glimpse at fame. I think I’ve still got 14.9 minutes left on that clock.



This also calls for a song, don’t you think? Since the picture was published a day after my birthday, and it is one of those almost milestone years, I offer the following. No it's not about me. I'm planning on living until at least 130 so I'm decades away from a midlife crisis.

Old And In The Way
By Bob Masterson © Old Paint Music

Middle aged middle man just passing the torch
Stuck between that rock and a hard place
Where the seniors think you’re young and foolish
Immature and amateurish
And the kids they treat you like you’re
Old and in the way

So you buy yourself a soft top
Change the station to hip hop
Cover your bald spot with a dollar store ball cap and
Hide your eyes with two hundred dollar shades
Now the seniors think you’ve flipped your lid
Even you can’t believe what you just did
And the kids still treat you like you’re
Old and in the way

Old and in the way, old and in the way
Middle age hysteria has got you feeling
Old and in the way

Your waistline’s on a mission
To stick you with the family tradition
Of carrying that beach ball gut around.
So you sign up with a trainer, put him on retainer
And subscribe to daily torture sessions
With a muscle head who hasn’t got a clue
Now the seniors know you’ve lost your mind
You wonder if it’s there to find
And the kids still treat you like you’re
Old and in the way

Your wife’s heading for the changes
You’re spreading cream upon your anus
To stop the itch and burn that comes with
Riding that damn desk.
You start to golf each weekend
And vote in every election
Do your civic duty by giving blood every 56 days
Now the seniors they accept you
They see you’ve paid your dues. But face it,
the kids’ll always treat you like you’re
Old and in the way

Old and in the way, old and in the way
Middle age hysteria has got you feeling
Old and in the way

Old and in the way
Caught up in the rut of day to day
Old and in the way
Youth’s wasted on the young they say
Old and in the way
You’re only half done, it’ll all be OK
Old and in the way
Heck, we’re all gonna die someday
But that middle age hysteria has got you feeling
Old and in the way

That's all you get about me. Next time we return to our regular programming.