Dr. Bob

I arrived early this morning, around 7:30 A.M. The doctor thought he could beat me here but he lost. At about 8, he and his posse came in to check on Renee. He asks me, “How is she doing?” Shouldn’t that be my question? Let me see, she’s in pain, she’s got a tube shoved up her nose, she’s got a big hole in the middle held together by staples, she’s eating through a needle stuck into her right bicep area and she’s still complaining of nausea. I’m not a doctor but I’m going to take an educated guess and say she’s not doing great. Am I close? I’m right on! I’ve got to figure out a way to bill the insurance company for my insightful medical analysis.

Here’s the real scoop. Renee’s got a little blockage in the bowels but that’s not the big problem. She’s got the ileus, a temporary arrest of intestinal peristalsis. Oh no, not the ileus, you say, as you put your palms against your cheeks. Oh, yes! Simply put, her bowels went to sleep. We’ve been through this before. The doctor says that the activity through the bowels that was happening late last week is called a false positive. That little intestine was just goofing on us, teasing us, trying to make us think everything is alright and then narcolepsy sets in. The darn thing just nodded off.

Ileus is a condition that occurs in about 17% of J-Pouch surgery patients. Renee is never happy to blindly go along with the majority when it comes to recuperation, so she sang a lullaby to her innards. Sleep tight my little kishka.

The good news is that from all the pictures that were taken, both CT and X-ray, the surgeon could tell that the operation was successful and the pouch looks fine. It is really just a matter of getting everything back to functioning status. This will take a few days, he said. He added that the earliest we’re looking at leaving this wonderful world of medicinery is Friday. This means I get to visit the hotel laundry. Woohoo, it is nothing but fun and games here in Cleveland.

Grab Your PICC

They’ve got a real nice rooftop pavilion here that looks out over the downtown and Lake Erie. It doesn’t make up for what’s going on underneath but it still can provide inspiration. Everyone grab hold of your Lucille knock-off and summon up your best BB King riffs for this one.

Hospital Blues
By Bob Masterson

Sitting on a rooftop
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Above Setback City
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Lake’s in the back drop
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Skyline’s looking pretty
[Bumbummundunndunt]
But I’m wishing the wind
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Would blow away the news
[Bumbummundunndunt]
And sign the discharge papers
From these hospital blues

Oh, the Doc says that I got it bad
And its just no use
No way he can release me from
These hospital blues

Came in for a checkup
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Three surgeries ago
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Now they say
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Got four more to go
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Not sure what it is
[Bumbummundunndunt]
But they’re gonna try
[Bumbummundunndunt]
To fix what’s got me
All eat up inside

Oh, the Doc says that I got it bad
And its just no use
I’m stuck in Setback City with
These hospital blues

You can’t cut out
[Bumbummundunndunt]
What you can’t find
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Got the kind of hurtin
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Only heals with time
[Bumbummundunndunt]
So poke and prod
[Bumbummundunndunt]
Replace every part
[Bumbummundunndunt]
But that weren’t no surgeon
Who cut out my heart

Ain’t no doc can fix it
And it's just no use
To suffer through
These hospital blues

Ain’t no doc can fix it
Oh, it's just no use
I’m stuck in Setback City with
These hospital blues

------------------

The PICC line is in place. I was kicked out of the room while they inserted it because I’m not sterile. Guess what, nothing in this hospital is or there wouldn’t be all those staff infections flying around. At just before 5:00 P.M., Renee got up and went for a short walk so things may be calming a bit. She also got her visit from Riley the Therapy Dog. I thought she was going to miss the visit due to the PICC line insert. That would have got Renee out of bed. She would have hunted that dog down. It was the highlight of her day.

The x-rays, two of them, are scheduled for 6. One is for picc placement confirmation and the second is to see if the NG tube is kinked. The suction is not working too well. They are also hanging a bag of IV nutrition sometime tonight after picc use approval. No more voodoo on Renee, they can use that line for almost all future needle work. We’ve reached a new standard in Invasive Maneuvers.

No word yet on what the CT scan revealed. No news is good news so no worries there. Renee is no longer the highest priority patient on the floor which is a welcome change from a few hours ago. There is also no timetable on possible exit, I’ve heard everything from Wednesday to a week. Better not to speculate until we have more info that the bowels are working correctly.

The nutritionist is in agreement that maybe solid foods were introduced too early in the recovery. You just never know with this stuff. I hear the dinner bell ringing so hold tight until tomorrow.

Commotion

Tighten up the drawstring and hold on to your swim trunks campers we’re going off the high dive head first. Could someone please make sure there is water in the pool!

Being the center of attention in the hospital is never a good thing. Unless you are the therapy dog who we hear will make a visit this afternoon. That is the good news.

Renee called me before I got down to breakfast. There’ll be no release today. She’s still feeling lousy and it’s not improving. It’s 9:30 A.M. while I’m writing this. There are three nurses currently at Renee’s side, a stoma nurse to rework the whole bag thing which was switched last night to a gravity feed due to high output, an IV nurse and her regular nurse, who is here to insert an NG tube and draw blood for tests. They also ordered an EKG just to round out the battery of tests.

They’ve ordered a CT scan to “try to see if we can get an idea of what might be happening.” I’m feeling that Déjà vu thing, except I know we’ve been here before. At least there are no hallucinations this time.

Renee hasn’t eaten since breakfast yesterday so the high output from the ileostomy is puzzling. There is also extreme pressure in the abdomen. The IV nurse is having a real hard time trying to find a good vein. It has to be a bigger one to feed the contrast into for the CT scan. She got the blood drawn but now they’re talking about inserting a PICC line. It is a semi-permanent IV access port which can be used for both drawing blood and giving intravenous medication. Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter is the technical term.

The surgeon came in amidst all this commotion and talked about what is going on. “It is a good thing you stayed here,” he says. Nah, I could have handled this on the car ride home. Darn, I forget to pack the portable CT scanner so it is a good thing we hung around. But then again, I don’t remember anyone doing anything more than discussing possibilities of a Monday discharge. He said that this discomfort is most likely due to a food blockage in the bowels. They have been stretched to the max to accommodate the J-Pouch and are swollen from being rearranged. It is common for things to get hung up before everything adjusts to the new layout. The CT scan will confirm this.

Renee keeps saying, “but I felt so good the other day.” The best comeback line came from the nurse, “It sucks but it’s crappy.” I couldn’t have said it better.

They’re pumping some contrast through the NG tube and the scanner team will do an additional IV line as they said they can’t wait for the picc line crew. The picc line also needs ultrasound guidance for input and a chest X-ray to make sure it’s properly placed. Lining all this up on a Monday in the hospital takes time. Apparently no-one is willing to wait that long. That’s comforting! They are all so calm and reassuring, saying repeatedly this is normal in these situations, but I swear I saw a glint of the Oh Shit Factor in a few of those darting eyes.

This is not my first time through watching how things work, we are all hoping for the lodged food scenario to reveal itself on the scan and for it to work itself out as the pressure is released through the NG tube. But, all of these tests are to make sure it’s not something worse. Plus, this is Renee we’re talking about. She’s not leaving the hospital without exhausting every employee and machine they’ve got. If she’s going to suffer they’re going to suffer.

It’s now 11:40 A.M., it has been a very busy couple of hours. The nurse just called for transport to the CT lab. This looks like my opportunity for lunch. Talk at ya later.

Setback City

Thoughts of returning to Possibility City (Louisville) in the near term are fleeting. We are mired in Setback City. That’s my new nickname for Cleveland. Can’t anything ever go smoothly for our girl? This two steps back thing is starting to get to me. We’re now re-inserting IV lines. Pain level has increased to six. Upset stomach, ashen complexion, I’m having flashbacks to December.

I was hoping this was very temporary and caused by taking percoset on an almost empty stomach. Problem with that is the nausea started before the percoset was administered and is continuing, and at about 2:30 P.M. unfortunately increased to the next step. Simultaneously, the stoma is doing its thing loudly. I mean scary loud, even the nurse went “whoah.” We had two nurses tending to Renee at one point. One was trying to find a vein while the other was on bucket and clean-up duty. Nurse one failed and called for a vein finding specialist. Nurse two luckily did a pretty good job so she gets the good help award for today. They talked to the doctor by phone. No one seems too concerned except about the hydration angle. Therefore the IV line is back in with a good dose of fluids flowing.

We also just got word that Renee’s back on clear liquids for a little while. She doesn’t get to touch the dinner tray they brought. The apple pie tasted excellent! What, you expected it to go to waste? Hospital food is starting to taste good and I’m not even the patient. I have been in this dang place too long.

Looks like I’ll be hanging around late tonight to make sure Renee has purged the setback from her system.

Lox, Stock and Sand Bars

Surgery recovery is a lot like the battle between land and sea. No one is sure which is winning that one. If you live near a coast, you know about the futile projects to revitalize shrinking beaches only to have some minor current and weather pattern changes turn them back into expansive stretches of sand. Man is no match for sea vs. land and all the doctors and nurses and assistants in a hospital are no match for how an individual patient deals with the rigors of post-op. Just like the weather here, which turned from bright sun and pleasant mid-eighties temperatures to cloudy, raw, low 70’s soup, Renee has turned from pink-cheeked effervescence to a sallow slab.

A restless night filled with nausea and a morning of weakness and lack of appetite are the current conditions. Not surprisingly, there will be no release today. Perhaps Renee tried to push too hard yesterday, pumped up with adrenaline from all the good news. Perhaps the re-introduction of the soft-GI diet caused Renee to overdo it on the meals. Perhaps the salmon on the plate for dinner has caused a psychological setback.

A few years back Renee had a salmon dinner at a local restaurant. That night was her first hospital visit in Louisville. Renee still avoids salmon thinking it somehow triggered the event. It doesn’t matter whether it did or didn’t if you’ve convinced yourself that the culprit is a pink hunk of fish flesh. It also doesn’t matter that you didn’t eat the fish that was on your plate now. There’s just some bad mojo there. Lox gets a pass in this game though. No reason to give up on something that goes so well on a bagel. Don’t put too much thought into trying to figure this stuff out, I’m sure that this and other thought processes without any validity or justification could have a psychiatrist cowering in the corner wondering why they didn’t join the bakers ranks right out of high school. Great, now I’m hungry for a bagel. Quick someone email me one from Lox, Stock and Bagel. Throw in a bialy while you’re at it.

Renee hasn’t taken a walk yet today except to get cleaned up in the washroom.
She is napping at the moment, which is good. Sleep heals. It is not all dispiriting news here. Renee’s been unhooked from all IV’s and has been placed on PO. That means oral medication for those like me not trained in med-speak. The nurses are still expecting her to be released tomorrow.

I’ll need to make arrangements for another night at the hotel just in case of changes later today but I really just think it’s the tide. It’s out right now and we’re just waiting for it to come back in, get this boat off of the sand bar and sail back into the deep bluegrass.

No Drama

We had a lot of activity around the patient today. Most all of it was on the removal side. They should have called for a dumpster with all the garbage that was being pulled off of Renee. Wires and hose and bandages and dressings and bags and pumps and drains all came off or down or out.

At one point everyone showed up at once. The stoma nurse came in to remove a rod that was put in place so the body did not reclaim the piece of small intestine that is the temporary loop ileostomy. The doctor purposefully pulled and stitched it to the surface, any unsupervised pull back could be a major catastrophe. We were told the body adjusts to this quickly, so the rod is removed before it fully heals into the skin and becomes an unwanted foreign object. The stoma (the exposed portion of the ileostomy) itself is also a little different since it was fashioned from higher up on the intestine rather than the end. It looks more like a large distended belly button than its peeled penis predecessor.

While that was going on - along with the changing of the colostomy bag, which should not be confused with the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace, only because it doesn’t smell as bad as the guys in the heavy coats and big hats - a doctor showed up to remove the drain that was placed to draw off excess fluid and gunk from around the J-pouch build area. Now that stuff smells even worse than the palace guards, eewhew!

I’m amazed the human body will tolerate some of the devices that we insert. When I saw the lengths of the stents that were removed the previous days it was surprising to see that they were 18-24 inches long, not insignificant, although they were extremely thin, thinner than a straw coffee stirrer. But the hose on the drain was huge. It was a flexible pipe with holes in it. I immediately thought that we could use it in place of the pvc pipe in our mash tun. What a great sparge filter it would make! I wonder how it stands up to temperatures close to 200 degress? Sorry, I drifted off to the wrong blog for a second (see the beerworks blog for translation and more info).

You get the picture, there were masses of humanity gathering around Renee and for a welcome change they were removing rather than installing medical accessories. Earlier, one of the posse doctors stopped in. It was before I got there which was about 8:30 A.M. He also was very positive in his assessment on Renee’s progress. He said discharge may be as early as tomorrow BUT the surgeon recommended maybe staying overnight or longer locally so if any problems crop up they can deal with them here.

Good idea, but, it is highly unlikely we would hang around. They are setting it up for home health care nurse visits again so I don’t see the point. Plus, I don’t believe them. They always hedge their answers, maybe tomorrow, maybe Monday. We’ve been through this before, one day you think you’re going home, the next they’ve got the whole hospital staff at your bedside trying to figure out what’s wrong. I’m not being pessimistic, just realistic. Renee does not have a good track record for recovery. We don't need to bug out before she's ready.

I will say that she looks and sounds so much better than I’ve ever seen her following surgery. This is so unlike Renee. So far there has been no drama. I tried to manufacture some but she’s just not cooperating. It has not been all wine and roses but compared to the last trip to this town it is more like a cocktail party than the full out rumble I remember.

This is good people! Do I hear applause? Well I should!
C’mon now, put your hands together and lets keep this vibe going!
I mean it!
All Right!
You at the computer!
All Right!
I’m not feeling it!
All Right!
That’s better!
All Right!
Give me an
All Right!
C’mon now!
All Right!
Let’s go now!
All Right!
Ya know what I mean now?
All Right!
We’re talkin’ Renee now!
All Right!
We’re talkin’ get better now!
All Right!
We’re talkin’ Renee now!
All Right!
We’re talkin’ get better now!
All Right!
We’re talking home now!
All Right!
C’mon Doc!
All Right!
Just say it now!
All Right!
Oh Yeah!
All Right!
Oh Yeah!
All Right!
Oh Yeah!
All Right!

Fade out ……………………All Right!

They Come In Threes

“I’d rather break down on the highway with no one to share my load and cry on the shoulder of the road.” – Tim Krekel

I just found out that a third icon, Tim Krekel, died on Wednesday. If you’re not from Louisville you may not be familiar with the name. He was a local musician and singer/songwriter who had some major credentials, like playing with Van Morrison and on tour with Jimmy Buffet. That’s his lead guitar work you hear on Cheeseburger in Paradise. Check out more here:

http://cdbaby.com/cd/tkrekel

I never met Tim officially but I would regularly attend his local performances. He played Thursday nights on the deck at the Bluegrass Brewing Company for free. I brought Renee and Cassidy there a lot. His music is something all three of us like. Cassidy would get up from her seat and move real close to the bandstand, sometimes dancing. He would give me a nod as we left and he kept playing on. His album World Keeps Turnin’ is one of my all time favorites. He also holds the distinction of being the only person I gave a purposeful nod back to by quoting in a song of my own. It’s not much of a tribute but here’s the song. Rest in peace Tim.

Intimacy Roulette (The Ballad of Suzie and Carl)
By Bob Masterson

Carl’s 34 years old, lives in a one bedroom apartment
Back behind the bars in the Highlands business zone.
He’s got lots of drinking buddies but he’s never had a girlfriend
So, he goes out every evening hoping the right girl will come along.

He goes home after happy hour, heats up a Hungry Man dinner
And sprawls out on the couch with sports TV
Later on he changes channels to Showtime After Dark
And brings up the images he never gets to see

He sleeps with
Dry lips and wet dreams
He’s tossing through great unrest void of intimacy
With those dry lips and wet dreams
Wondering if its time to give up on this scene

Suzie’s 32 years old lives in a one bedroom apartment
Up above an art studio on the edge of Butchertown
She’s got lots of dancing partners but not one she could call boyfriend
So she goes out every evening hoping that right guy will come around

She goes home after happy hour, heats up a Lean Cuisine dinner
And curls up on the couch with HGTV
Later on she changes channels to Oxygen Late Night
And brings up the images she never gets to see

She sleeps with
Dry lips and wet dreams
She’s tossing through great unrest void of intimacy
With those dry lips and wet dreams
Wondering if its time to give up on this scene

Another Thursday happy hour, Carl’s watching baseball
Suzie’s up with Krekel on deck, they’re all down at the BBC.
Jeter goes yard, Yankees win, Carl’s seen enough
He steps out back, catches Suzie’s eye,
Tim sings, “Hey baby, that’s good stuff”
Well he walks right up, takes her hand,
says, “May I have this dance?”
You can hear the goosebumps popping at this burgeoning romance

Later on that evening, they turn off all the channels and
Suzie lets him place his hand upon her virgin skin
This true love was worth the wait and that’s all that really matters
When you’re fumbling through the night not knowing where to begin

Forget those
Dry lips and wet dreams
They’re rolling through the days and nights bound by intimacy
No more
Dry lips and wet dreams
They thank their lucky stars they never gave up on this scene
Yes, they thank their lucky stars they never gave up on this scene
They thank their lucky stars for the Louisville music scene


------------------------------------
Renee got the second of her two urethra stents removed today. Little by little she’s shedding the wires and hoses attached to her. The surgeon stopped in just past noon and gave her good marks. Her new stoma started working and some light solids will be allowed for dinner. Right after breakfast she changed her mind about being too tired and took a short and shaky walk.

The doctor said the morphine pump will most likely be removed tomorrow. They’re boosting her with some other drug that is a combination pain killer and muscle relaxer. I think it’s called Tortal.

Renee really perked up after lunch and took a much longer walk. Her voice is back to normal so the effects of the anesthesia have finally worn off. She was wiped out from her walk and crashed after I read her the blog entries she’s missed. The drugs must be working well because the lines I thought would hit a nerve didn’t even phase her. She sent me packing early so I could take in an Indians vs. Reds game tonight at Jacobs Field.

I don’t want to jinx it by saying it but we are at two full days with no bad news or setbacks, “Hey baby, this is good stuff!”

Doing the H Room Shuffle

We got the news yesterday that we lost an icon. This figure rocked us but definitely can't be considered a rock star. This is someone who widened my teenage eyes and stirred many young boys in freakish ways. Oh, how we all wanted to dance along with that slender form. I’ll miss you Farah.

Did you think I was talking about that bizarre mutant who died yesterday too? The media is all in a lather about it but it is no great loss to me. Plus, I never wanted to dance with that dude.

Required listening for today – (You Are) My Special Angel by Bobby Vinton

I got to the hospital a little before eight this morning to find that they moved Renee last night. She is now where she should be, in the colorectal surgery unit. She got the window seat we wanted and in the refurbished wing. She’s back in Building H on the same floor we were on in December, Room H51-06. Her room from last year is now going through the same rehab as this one. Even a hospital requires surgery now and again.

This room is brighter and after adjusting the thermostat down, the room temperature is tolerable. This unit seems to be better staffed also. They immediately respond when you hit the call button and there has already been more helpful activity in the room than all of yesterday. It’s the same hospital, I don’t get the disparity but I’m glad Renee has the higher level of care with the nurses who are specially trained for her ailment.

Renee said her pain level is at five. She’s still pushing pretty hard on the pain button especially when moving about. She said she’s starving and has a hunger headache. The doctor switched her off of clear liquids and they just brought a cold tray which has cream of wheat on it. How hot mush ends up on a cold tray is only known to the master chef of hospital cuisine.

Renee is still doing the doze off routine – in mid-sentence, between spoonfuls, while using the spirometer. She’s got a lot more color today but is questioning whether she has the strength to get up and walk. The doctor said that there will be good and bad days so I’m not concerned if she decides not to push it today. It is still under 48 hours since they closed her up so I think I’ll allow her a little slack. Come tomorrow, I’ll be pushing her to do laps though. No way I’m letting her lay around too long, there’s nothing but sick people in this place.

As of 9:40 A.M. on Friday, all things are pointing in the right direction.

Positivity

Wow! That last post had parts that were kind of harsh. That is not the tone we need to set for this reportation - Apolgies to my long and loving spouse!

For those who do not know, on the advice of several friends and family members, I have taken on a couple of staff personnel to help in filling the quota needed to keep this blog going at full production levels and especially to help edit comments like the ones found in the previous post. The economy has been tough so I’ve had to hire some family members to keep them off of the unemployment roles. Due to this, quality control has missed it's mark and the foregoing post unfortunately made it through the censors.

Here’s the new staff - you may have already met. There is “Me,” my newest correspondent, completely green but possessing a great attitude. Then there is “Myself,” who is very headstrong but likes to keep things proper. The last is “I.” I have been the frontline reporter and editor-in-chief since at least November. I would have never let today’s earlier post slip through were it not over-saturation in the topic and over-dependence on the staff. No excuse for it! I’ll never reveal if it was Me or Myself who wrote the offensive remarks but, rest assured, someone has been punished and it wasn’t Me.

My new charges have not been completely trained and have missed the class on “What Husbands Do Not Say To Or About Wives.” What an unfortunate incident that these words were allowed to find their way to print before the editor had a chance to squash them in their tracks. It is a most regrettable circumstance that only the blogmaster can contain and will strive to achieve in the future. (Did he just say he will strive to attain regrettable circumstances?) Me, myself and I want nothing but the highest quality product to reach your probing eyes. Worry no more about it and read on.

Just after posting this morning Renee rose from the bed and took a walk. We found out then that the catheter hose was kinked and that is why the bag was dry. She sat in the chair until after lunch, which consisted of nothing but liquids but still was enough to nauseate not only Renee but also her roommate who just received a brand new used kidney. There is a lot of moaning and groaning going on the room and it’s got nothing to do with my lousy jokes.

Despite Renee’s earlier crusty nature she was in good spirits and held no animosity toward the nurses nor did they for her. I’ve got the feeling that the nurses are used to this kind of behavior from post-op patients. I have nothing but complete respect for all who have chosen nursing as a profession. They have earned their way into my admiration pile.

The surgeon’s assistant popped in just about noon and gave some glowing remarks when seeing Renee sitting up in a chair, never mind that she was falling asleep mid-sentence and mid-spoonful of her broth. The first of two urethra stents were removed bedside. There was a clear medical reason for their insertion during surgery but I couldn’t understand one word of it. Some doctors have no idea how to dumb down their medical speak. Renee’s oxygen tube was also removed a short time later as she was clocking a 97 on the O2 scale.

The surgeon did his rounds mid-afternoon and said all is going well. All of this activity wore Renee out and she crashed back into her bed and was only mildly coherent as the doctor increased her morphine button percentage based on patient pain reports.

So as of now, all is positive. Let’s keep those positive juices flowing!

There's Got To Be A Morning After

My entry last night was pretty matter of fact, wasn’t it? Nearly 15 hours in a hospital waiting room will do that to you. I got a pretty good night’s sleep so who knows what will follow on the page?

I got to Room G101-07 at about 9:10 A.M. Our patient was awake but not happy. Do you see a trend here? It was the same thing following the last surgery. I don’t think Renee realizes that she’s not going to be perfectly comfortable when waking up from abdominal surgery. I’m glad I’m not her nurse. I may be a nursemaid but they can have that tough job.

She told me she ticked off her nurse when she “asked” to be transferred to the colorectal surgery unit. What a way to start the morning with the person in charge of your care! Renee is not very tactful while under the influence of morphine. There’s a lesson for you kids out there, even when used for their intended purpose, drugs can screw with your mind and turn you into something that rhymes with witch.

Renee’s in the post-transplant surgery unit so I’m pretty sure these nurses have some experience. I’m not concerned that she’s not getting what is required although they couldn’t come up with a pump unit for her leg circulation stockings. It didn’t make a lot of sense that they put them on her legs anyway, especially when the room temperature is hovering above 80º. Man, it’s hot in here!

Renee’s leaning heavy on the pain button and they gave her a booster shot to make her more comfortable. She’s feeling pressure on her abdomen (gee, I wonder why?) and flashed back to December when her kidney and bowels refused to awaken on schedule. The nurse reassured her that the catheter is draining fine. I’m sitting bedside now and have been here for almost two hours, that bag is as dry as it was when I walked in. I hope the nurse was correct but if Renee gets the hiccups I’m bringing up the possibility of the NG tube. Don’t worry, Renee’s got a big red wristband that says ALLERGIC TO THORAZINE. She’s not taking that trip again.

The nurse did tell me that they are trying to get Renee to the colorectal floor and that they do attempt to get the patients to their specialty areas. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. If it happens, hopefully the air conditioning is working better there and Renee can get a window seat. There’s more room window side and you don’t have the crew hopping over and around you every time they check on the patient in the next bed.

Renee’s mostly sleeping but has had some apple juice in between naps. Her magnesium level is low and they hooked some into her IV. Everything else appears to be proceeding as normal for post-op.

As of this morning there’s no indication on how long we’ll be here. But we’re still working off the 5-7 day schedule given to us pre-op. There goes the laptop battery, later ……

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

We got an early start with a 4:30 A.M. wake up and arrived at the Surgery Center at 5:50 A.M. All the paperwork was completed yesterday so we just needed to check in and pick up the texting beeper which provides patient updates to the onsite family member - that would be me. We also got a repeat of the instructions on how to read the status board that shows where Renee will be. At 6:36 A.M. Renee was called back to pre-op. She changed to her hospital gown and was set up with an IV tube. Yes, they missed on the first two tries but got a good vein on the third. The nurse said that they’d most likely sink another line in after the anesthesia was administered, something about expanding veins while under the influence of the sleep-aide.

They kicked me out a little before 7:00 when transport came to take Renee to the Operating Room holding pen. I headed to the cafeteria and received a text at 8:20 that she was taken to the OR. At 8:54 the blue beeper lit up again saying only, “Surgery begun.” Then another text at 9:47, “surgery continuing & going well.”

Some of my previous complaints about having all this technology but still keeping the family in the dark by not utilizing it properly may have been heeded. I’m sure I’m not the only one who let them know what a waste it was to carry around a device that was relegated to the same status as a restaurant pager.

We were told going in that the procedure would take between two-and-a-half to four hours. The next text I got was at 12:49, “Starting to finish surgery now.” At 12:55 I was paged to the desk for a call from the surgeon. He was quick and curt but provided the essential information I needed. The surgery is over and went well and Renee is doing fine. He told me I would be able to see her in about an hour after she wakes from anesthesia.

Renee spent the next 6 hours in the PACU – Post Anesthesia Care Unit. At 5: 25 I was allowed to spend a whole five minutes with her - groggy is an understatement. They told me she may have to spend the night there due to lack of space. I’m not sure why there was no room immediately available. The operation was booked months in advance and they have an entire floor for colorectal surgery patients. A little over an hour later they found her a room. It is not on the colorectal floor, it is in the Transplant Special Care Unit. Did she get some new parts they didn’t tell us about?

She was still out of it when they got her settled and I made sure that all was as well as it could be before I snuck out to grab a bite and shake off the waiting room blues.

Phase Two – day one

Launching the Volvo XC rocket north was just like a NASA mission, fraught with delays, only the President didn’t call to wish me luck on the mission. The audacity! No change there.

We got the pup squared away and packed the wagon full of important items that could not be left behind for a week long trip, like beer, pretzels and at least three changes of underwear. We got Cassidy to the airport in plenty of time for her flight east. The counter person was a little peeved she had to process our credit card for a child traveling alone fee. The fact that you can’t pay this fee online when you buy the ticket didn’t matter to her. The fact that you are directed by the airline to pay at the time of check-in also did not matter to her. She half-scolded me and when we offered to pay the fee for the return trip right there, she couldn’t make it work on her computer and directed us to call reservations.

It continues to amaze me that whenever you encounter a routine transaction that the people on the other side of the counter continually treat it like this is the first time it has ever occurred. Gee, I’m sorry for following the directions the airline gave me online. Gee, I’m sorry you have to do the hard job of swiping a credit card. Gee I’m sorry you had to show up for work today and do your job. Maybe she was ticked because she had to print two whole gate passes for us and we didn’t just abandon our child at the security checkpoint. ‘Nuff about that ridiculousness……. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that our ever vigilant counter clerk directed our minor traveling alone to the wrong gate. This same airline lost a child somewhere between Logan Airport in Massachusetts and Newark Airport in NJ just last week. The child turned up safely but this doesn’t give me a lot of confidence in the checks and balances in their system that I’m paying an extra seventy-five bucks for. How about you?

The flight was, of course, delayed. There was a breeze which lifted a couple of leaves a half an inch from their humidity laden position somewhere in NJ so the airline claimed that a near tornado was delaying everything in and out of Newark Airport. Does the airline realize that we know people in NJ? Do they realize that we had people on the ground there who could see planes taking off and landing when they told us the airport was on lockdown? Not that it mattered, we couldn’t do a darn thing about getting the plane in the air, so we sat and waited. The 4:20 P.M. scheduled departure turned into 5:05 P.M. wheels up. The delay wasn’t too painful and I managed to sneak in a gate-side nap. We hit the highway north for the five hour trip.

We lucked out with no construction or other delays. We got word enroute that Cassidy arrived safely at Newark with only a "short" two hour unscheduled stopover in Allentown, PA. Renee was starving when we hit Cleveland at about 10:30 and requested that we hit the restaurant at the Great Lakes Brewery. Yep, my wife suggesting we go to a brewpub, you’ve got to love that girl! Only one glitch, the kitchen was closed for the night. The bartender suggested we go around the corner to a place that serves food until 2 A.M. Renee had her last real meal before surgery at the Bier Market, another beer joint. The mild setbacks at the airport earlier were no match for the positive beer karma that was thrust upon us at the end of the long drive. It does not matter that she doesn’t drink the stuff, BEER WORKS!

We managed to get through the pre-op maze today with only one slight leak in the colostomy bag of life. No need to expound on that foul episode, and at least I was able to enjoy a meal at Great Lakes while Renee watched and salivated over the served entrees – the doctor cut her off from all solid food.

Report time tomorrow is 6 A.M. Renee is the first one on the operating table. We’re off to sleep ……………G’Night……………………

Pre-Trek

There is always loads to do before going on a trip, and I’m not just talking laundry. So excuse me if I seem rushed this morning. Packing is a little different this time as we are sending the child off on her first solo flight. The GP’s (Renee’s parents) will be in charge of collecting Cassidy at Newark Airport and keeping her occupied in NJ while Renee and I trudge up to beautiful Cleveland. By keeping her occupied I mean Renee’s Mom gets a shopping partner.

We’ve also arranged for house watchers and pet sitters and pet watchers and house sitters, but my good buddy a couple doors down is still refusing to mow the hill in the back for me. One broken ankle and you give up? C’mon man, where’s your sense of adventure? We’re hoping for a short trip this time so the jungle doesn’t get too bad.

As surgery day nears, you can see the anticipation rise in Renee. I’m doing my best to quiet her nerves by brewing beer, hiding in the basement, hanging at the pool and allowing her to do what she does best, which is shop. I’m there for you honey!

On the Cassidy front, the young child has now entered her second year of teenagery. In honor of this auspicious occasion, and her outstanding report card, we did what any parents would do and poked a couple of needless holes in her head. She now has to fill these holes with ridiculously priced stemmed baubles. But it was all worth it because she gets to highlight her preciously un-petite Dugan ears. Yes, she’s inherited the auditory lobes of her great uncles on my mother’s side, which were about the size of the horned speakers on the original Edison phonograh, so why not accent them? I’m routing for her to learn to wiggle them like my Uncle Joe.

Well, I’ve got to get to packing and cut the lawn. The next report will be from the shores of Lake Erie.

Have a great Father’s Day!

Round Two

For those of you who have been regularly following along you know that, at least medically, it’s been a quiet around here lately. It was good to slow down and re-charge after those few months of complete turmoil. Now it’s time to shake it up again.

If you’ve just joined us in progress, or haven’t checked in since Renee first got out of the hospital in Mid-December, you’ve got a lot of catching up to do. The rest of us will wait while you go over all of the previous posts to catch up.

Rest of us, I hope you brought snacks, it will be a while ......

Are we all on the same page now? Good.

Renee is slated for the next round of surgery on Wednesday, June 24th. We’ll be heading back up to the Cleveland Clinic for the second stage of this three part series. The first stage was to remove the cursed colon and to build the temporary ileostomy that has allowed Renee to purge waste product into a plastic bag glued to her side. Next week’s stage two surgery will be to build the internal pouch from the small intestine. It is essentially an interior colostomy bag and will play the part of the colon since this organ has left the building. The pouch and surrounding areas will be given about three months to heal, and sometime in the fall, Renee will return once again to Cleveland to have the third stage. At that time they will reverse the ileostomy and connect the interior pouch to the rectum allowing a semi-normal bathroom process to resume.

This all sounds pretty routine, doesn’t it? Well if you’ve been paying attention then you know nothing is routine around here. So stick around and follow as we trek on up to Cleveland to subject Renee to yet another round of extremely invasive maneuvers. I’ll try to make it as painful for you as it will be for Renee. Grab your morphine buttons, check your brakes, and don’t even think about removing your hands from the sissy bar, we’re just about to start clicking our way up that first steep hill.

Aren’t you just tingling with excitement?