We took a trek up to Cleveland for lunch yesterday and just for kicks decided to stop in to the Cleveland Clinic to see Renee’s surgeon. Lo and behold, they were expecting us.
They’re good up there at the Double C, and efficient. Renee didn’t even make it through her survey tablet before they were calling her in to see the doctor. Every time you check in at the clinic they have you fill out a survey to see how they’re doing and to ask many personal questions about your health. When I say personal, I am not kidding. Since this is the colorectal unit, they want details, grammar school bathroom humor variety details about the consistency of fecal matter and the like. They are very thorough.
Renee went through her preliminary check-in routine, weight check, medications, all the usual questions by the nurse, then we got back to the survey. The survey is on an electronic tablet with a touch screen and has multiple choice questions. You tap the screen with a stylus and move to the next question. There was a whole new list of choices from the last visit which has us wondering just what they need this information for? What I’m talking about here is sex. Twenty or so detailed questions about Renee’s sex life, which, as she said, “They are asking about the wrong side of the problem.” They want frontside info on a backside issue. What kind of perverts are we dealing with here?
These questions were more intimate than a fertility specialist would ask. Renee’s blush factor was at Code Red. I was having a blast helping Renee answer until she pulled the tablet away and I think hit the N/A button for the remainder of her answers. That right there gives you too much information about the subject, so we’ll move on.
The previously stoic surgeon was Mr. Joviality. There was a lot of joking and raised eyebrows about Renee changing her medication regime all on her own without informing him. I assumed she was following the directions he gave her months ago. Gee, I wonder why these flair-ups are happening, Renee? He looked like he wanted to slap her but remained composed and leaning back around Renee, he gave me the old ‘what the hell is she thinking?’ look. Which I immediately returned with the old ‘Who the hell knows what she’s thinking but I have to live with her so I’m not saying anything’ look. There was a lot being said without being said.
He gave her some new direction about when and how to take her meds and decided he needed to take a look at the problem which Renee describes as sharp as razor blade pains in her rectal region. For a second there the nurses tried to chase me from the room or at least get me behind the curtain. No way, I stayed. I covered in a previous post the Anaconda camera they use for this procedure. It goes right up the garbage chute and gives you a darn good picture of what’s going on. That is if you have any clue about what you’re looking at. I don’t but it is sure fun to watch in the deranged way you stop on the Surgery Channel and go “ewe!”
I’m not the queasy type so I just find it fascinating that they have this technology and that they let me watch them take biopsies and point out to me the irritations and the healthy areas. I now have first hand knowledge of what people are looking at when they’ve got their head up their ass. Knowledge is power!
The bottom line, pun intended, is that Renee’s surgery went well. Her pouch is healthy and working. It will take at least another six months for the surgery to completely heal so there will be some issues of discomfort and adjustment to the new internal routing. The Doc said the pouch will continue to enlarge during this period which will decrease the bathroom visits as time progresses. Renee’s got to adjust her medications according to his direction in order to quiet the Cuffitis which is causing her sharp pains and irritation but other than that she’s good to go for another six months.
It was another long round trip, about an 800 mile day, but highly productive without any bad news or even further testing scheduled. As for lunch, time constraints prevented us from hitting any of the local restaurants we discovered on previous trips so we got some lousy not “NY style” as advertised subs. Going all the way to Cleveland and not having pierogies is blasphemy in some circles. But at least our bellies were the only recipients of disappointment.
We chose not to hang around for dinner and high-tailed it on out of there before any one else started asking any more questions which are a little too personal. After all, Renee has suffered enough red-check syndrome through this ordeal.
Bier Werking
16 years ago
