That’s how you have to deliver
basic updates these days, sensationalism. Every news outlet bombards us with
outrageous headlines and when we get to the story it’s, meh.
But this blog is never meh. It may
be awful but never meh. So, thanks for clicking.
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| Menorah and dreidel display Miami Beach, FL |
It is Hannukah folks, the Jewish
celebration of lights in honor of a miracle at a temple a few thousand years
ago. That’s what the headline is about. You can read my tribute to the first
oil crisis here:
He’s making me click again, ugh, I
hate that!
Both I and you know you were
thinking it. This is social media folks, no need to go anti-social and not
participate in the clickfest. You could bring the whole new economy crashing
and it would be all your fault. So, click and read. (Yes, you have to read it
too. You can’t just click and then hit the back button – Wouldn’t be right,
wouldn’t be prudent. RIP George H.W. ) We’ll wait.
Happy Channukah to all! Hey, you
spelled it differently again. As I stated in the initial blog post, [You didn’t
click? You didn’t read it? Shame, shame, shame. That’s why the market crashed 300
points yesterday. I warned you. Don’t look at your 401K balance today.] we don’t
know why but it is a Jewish tradition to spell Chanakuh differently every time
you write it. In addition to the Festival of the Lights, it is also the Miracle
of the Writes! At least eight different ways to spell it, one for each night of
the enduring oil.
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But enough about celebrations, this
is a health blog. Well sort of, kind of.
I had to venture to a foreign
country for work last week. It was a bit weird but they didn’t even ask for a
passport. It’s even more weird not to hear English spoken very often but to
hear nearly every other global language in such a fairly small area. I’m
talking about Miami Beach, FL folks. If you haven’t been there you need to
brush up on Spanish, French, German, Dutch, Russian, and especially Cuban which
is a whole lot different than any Spanish you may have learned in high school.
Also, if you go avoid the smoked
pork chops. They are tasty, but the ensuing food poisoning will put a real
damper on the rest of your trip. I got hit with a bit of the Invasive Maneuvers
bug and didn’t even go to a hospital. Ha, take that girls! See, you don’t need
to go have an organ removed every time you get a tummy ache. Do you hear me? Stop
ejecting your vital organs!
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We did our annual pumpkin rolling
this Sunday just before sunset came down and we lit the first candle. Darkness descends
in mid-afternoon bringing winter doldrums so when it’s light we smash vegetables
for fun. There is nothing like tossing something out there and waiting to see
what comes up next fall. That’s a Jersey boy’s version of farming, roll a pumpkin,
hope for a gourd. It’s all about hope for the future.
And speaking of hope why are there
so many people trying to bring the rest of us down with their negativism. I
just read that people are getting so consumed by political correctness that
they are rejecting such phrases as “bringing home the bacon” because it may
offend vegans. Really? What are we going to replace it with, “bringing home the
soy?” Who are these vegans that are getting offended? If this is what the vegan
diet does to your brain then I say eat more bacon and stop getting offended at
every meat-related term that’s ever been used. Heck I’m probably going to vegan
prison for torturing pumpkins.
Do vegans realize they are killing
fruit and vegetables to sustain themselves? How do the fruit and vegetables
feel about that? Plants grow, they are therefore alive. Have they ever cut a
limb from a tree? Did they notice the sap that runs from it? Or put a spicket
in a tree and notice what pours forth? Maple syrup equals the tears of a tree.
How do they feel about consuming the tears of a living being? Tasty isn't it? I like it with bacon.
Vegans are sustaining themselves by
ingesting a formerly living thing. They are no different than meat eaters. They
just choose a different previously living thing to devour. I am just as
offended at a vegan’s food choice but I don’t try to change the language over
it. Just eat your damn veggies and stop looking for ways to be offended or to
ruin my meal because you think your food choice is superior.
And, more importantly if you are a
vegan-sympathizer trying not to offend vegans by eliminating meat from the lexicon
you are worse than the militant vegans. As you can see, I am sizzling over
this! And it smells great. Leave my animal-protein-tinged vocabulary alone and
pass the bacon! Extra-crispy please!
Sorry, no apologies to my Jewish
friends who choose not to eat bacon. After being brought down by pork chops
last week, I nearly considered converting but then I thought I’d be left with
just turkey bacon or worse, tofu bacon. Yikes! You must be out of your
(hopefully next year’s crop) gourd!
