Ewe! Cooties! An Easter Message

Good folks,

Happy Passover! Happy Easter!

Today we celebrate ancient miracles. Miracles which changed society, changed lives, impacted the world in ways we can’t even count.  Both groups of celebrants of these religious holidays were saved, both groups followed a man out of a spiritual desert. The progeny of both groups carried forth tradition which is still on full display today. We lift our hearts and souls up to the Supreme Being who made it and us all happen. It is a joyful day!

I like to think of the two denominations, Christians and Jews, like driving on different lanes on the same road. We’re heading on the same path in the same direction. We’re simply in a different vehicle, and more simply, one group doesn’t have Dashboard Jesus along for the ride. But we are all the same, all heading toward an uninterpretable afterlife, uninterpretable until you get there. And we are all trying to take the scenic route, slow-rolling to the answer. At least I am.   

I’m not a preacher or a pastor (obviously, see Dashboard Jesus reference above) nor even a good Catholic/Step-Jew (by marriage). I’m just a guy who happens to be in the same boat as the rest of you. Well sort of - this Easter/Passover we are all in separate boats paddling upriver a fathom apart – that’s six feet for my non-nautical friends. The good news is we get to have our immediate family and/or household members and animals in the boat with us, like Noah. Plus, we can still pull up to the dock and replenish our stores. We also can still communicate with others through the data-rarified air, the same air that carries the invisible germ that keeps us apart.

Count us blessed despite many of our jobs being deemed non-essential to the decision-makers who claim to protect our freedoms while infringing upon them.  All of our politicians – no matter which side you’re on – are trying to play savior. Are they leading us to the Promised Land or building the shiny golden calf before us? Are they trying to save us or their political aspirations? Only time will tell.   

But I’m not here to pound on the politicians. We should know by now the only action they know is overreaction. I’m here to talk about the strain this is putting on you and me. The strain of not leaving the house for significant periods of time. The strain of social isolation for social animals. But the worst is, the strain of our own overreaction – succumbing to the seed of distrust planted by self-proclaimed do-gooders against our neighbors, family, and friends. They've convinced us that we all are the infection, that we all carry transmittable death upon us.

Our media and our leaders are all trying to push us to this dire collective mindset to keep us caged. And when we do venture out to the store or some to work, we're now trained to treat all others like they've got the cooties. Social distancing is the adult equivalent of the Covid-Cooties©™. You heard it here first folks. And I know how childish it sounds.

The virus itself is bad enough but to set us all in isolation chambers and act like if we stray off our own Arks that our family will die and it will cause the annihilation of the human race? We aren't that individually powerful. I'm not God and neither are you. (How's that for obviously not a preacher?) Heck, we know now the virus is not that powerful. I get the need to slow the spread but this is a bit over the top (see previous paragraph about the only action is overreaction). 

Let’s inject a healthy dose of virus-free skepticism into this. We’re trusting the same damn doctor for guidance who in January said this thing really won’t affect the U.S. then by early March turns a 180 and hits the panic button. He’s now brought up the idea of people carrying an immunity idol with them when they go out of the house like this a TV game show. (Congratulations, you've won the Pandemic challenge. Now hold this so we can easily identify the good and the bad. It's Passover, has the good Dr. never heard of the yellow badges? No? The Scarlet Letter?)  I think maybe Dr. Fauci’s been taking a ‘drop of the craythur,’ before his press conferences. 

(For you who don’t know the phrase "drop of the craythur', look up Finnegan’s Wake and listen to the song. I recommend the Schooner Fare version. – Spoiler alert, Tim ain’t dead. And, if you’re reading this, neither are you. “Arrg, hold your gob, Doctor Fauci!”)

I'm much more fearful of the lingering Covid-Cooties fear. Hugs? Handshakes? Gatherings? Are they a thing of the past? The Task Force Doctor Fauci just the other day when asked about return to normalcy said, "you don't ever shake anybody's hands."  EVER folks, he's lost it.

I say he's stalling. He's at the helm of this pandemic ship and me thinks we have a drunken sailor. Drunk with power if not whiskey. Put him in a longboat till he's sober.

It's time to furlough the fear-mongers. Soon, we must turn the corner and outgrow this childlike game where we pretend we don’t NEED the human interaction that we crave. Let's also stop pretending we don’t NEED to get back to productive endeavors DESPITE THE VIRUS.

We should be driven right now to figure out how to live, work, and play together without fear of this  virus. We’ll soon collectively remember that we balance fear of death against every aspect of our lives, inside and outside the home, every day, the same as we always have. We should and will soon reject the Covid-Cooties manufactured fear and the over-protective government intervention. It would be nice but we don't need miracles, just a start in the right direction.

And, today is a good day to start.

It is after all Resurrection Day! Celebrate the Good Lord. May manna fall from the heavens and fill your Seder plates and Easter dinner tables.  Have faith! Rise up! Resurrect your own spirit! Let whatever spirit guides you quell your fears.

And for now, endure the temporary purgatory of social distancing. I’m predicting it will bring us closer together once we shed our Covid-Cooties cocoons.  

And then, I will shake all your hands. 

Have a joyous day!  

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I’ve been looking for an appropriate tune to go with this pandemic pseudo-sermon. It’s tough to find one that directly flies in the face of foreboding but here’s one song that’s always served as a church-like experience for me:

Melanie’s Lay Down (Candles in the Rain)  

[Note: YouTube has several great versions.]  

We all had caught the same disease

And we all sang the songs of peace

Some came to sing, some came to pray

Some came to keep the dark away.

Smile up! And, be one of the ones who came to keep the dark away.